Waiting for You
by fascimility
Summary: Shounen-ai.Akira/Hikaru/(a little)Ogata. Only my second Hikago fic! I really have no idea how Ogata got dragged in but it seems to work. Please be a good reader and RXR! ^.^
1. Now I know

Disclaimer: Hikaru No Go and its characters belong to Hotta Yumi-sensei and Obata Takeshi-sensei so no telling me that this is not how the story goes.  
  
Author's notes: Once again, I would like to stress that this fic is shounen-ai and may progress to yaoi scenes. So if you're uncomfortable with this sort of thing, feel free to give this a miss. This is my second Hikago fic so please be nice and review! I know I am a horrible writer so please excuse me. Dosen't matter if the comments aren't good. I'll try to improve so please review! Thank you! ^.^  
  
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*Waiting for You*  
  
Touya Kouyo paused outside the study room, delicate fingers lightly tracing the intricate pattern on the bamboo screen. His eyes were hooded, deeply lost in thought. /What is it that I feel about this boy? Why am I here, hesitating outside, wanting to enter? I am a former meijin, still ranked as one of the best in the world, yet. yet I want to see Shindo play. He is not even a 1 dan, a young boy. No. His age is identical to Akira's. And Akira is no longer young. He is mature, a young man. He has progressed fast, pushing through the ranks as no other has done. He will be the head of the new wave that will revoulutionise the Go world, the tide of new professionals surging through the stagnant waters. Still waters run deep./Touya Kouyo smiled gently, shaking his head.  
  
/Kuwabara and I, we will not give up so easily. Kuwabara will struggle, in this fight to death. He is doing well. He will groom them, prepare them to enter the Go world. He will also fight them savagely, weeding out those that are weak. In this, only the strongest survive. But I feel this new wave is strong. They have forged a friendship that is unbreakable, binding them regardless whether friend or foe. No, this new wave is even stronger than we are. They will surpass us, paving the way even further to reach the Hand of God. Will they succeed? Or will they be merely another stepping stone in this pursuit?/  
  
Touya Kouyo hesitated, then gave a slight cough before pushing the screen door back. He made his way quietly across the tatami matting, before kneeling before the goban, silently watching the game. A good battle. Both sides were fierce, unrelenting. It was no tame battle. / Kuwabara's instinct is strong. It is legendary. I trust him in such matters. There must be two masters of equal genius to be able to reach the Hand of God. Many years ago, it was Kuwabara and I. Now it is Hikaru and Akira. But unlike us, I feel they will succeed. They will tread our path, till they can pave their own, to reach the Hand of God. They will succeed. We are sure of that./ Touya Kouyo took a last glance at the goban, before rising and taking his leave. He rested his hand on the screen door for a second, before pulling it shut.  
  
Akira saw his father enter and leave. The battle was heated, and white was leading. Or seemed to be. The situation on the board was so complicated, the myriad of patterns interweaved, each stone's position vital. Each stone an answer to another, a response to a calling. Each stone possessing unbridled power, to create, to destroy. Each move. Akira's eyes widened slightly as he saw the move Hikaru made. /Sai.Sai. This is Sai's move. Hikaru. Is Hikaru Sai? Sai would place the stone here. Sai would place this stone, one that would defend the existing territory while advancing with an attack. Only Sai would see this. Only Sai. And Hikaru? I cannot speculate during a match! What will father say if he knew of this? Hikaru is not Sai! Why are these thoughts flooding through me, undermining my concentration?/  
  
Akira lifted his head up, glistening emerald eyes boring into Hikaru's light green one's. His hand dipped into the wooden container, fingering the white stones gently. The shale was cool to the touch, smooth and perfect. Akira slammed the stone down. Pa-chi. The harsh sound resonated round the room, pounding its way into Akira's consciousness. /Why did I slam that stone down so hard? I didn't mean to. There was no reason to. I. I don't even know why. It is Hikaru. Something about him excites me. It makes every fibre in my body quiver in anticipation and longing. Waiting patiently for each game. He is my equal. He will forever be there, chasing me, pursuing my shadow. I should go on, leaving him in the dust, leaving him to see my footsteps leading down the road he cannot follow. I should. But I cannot. I want to wait for him. I want him to be my side. To be sure of the fact that we are forever equals, regardless of friend or foe. I want to be his friend./  
  
Akira watched Hikaru from behind his eyelashes, hands laid on his lap. He saw Hikaru shift slightly, looking bemused.. Hikaru opened his fan, graceful fingers running along its length. His eyes had become dreamy, introspective, a sad look stealing into the olive eyes.  
  
/Hikaru! Do you know what you are doing to me? Your face like that is so bitterly sweet, so pained and sorrowful. Do you know that every time you get that look, I want to comfort you? I never, ever, want you to feel that way again. Your face cuts my heart, breaks me. I want you to always be happy, always be by my side. I don't understand why I feel this way for you. The other pros don't cause such turmoil in me. Only you, Shindo Hikaru. When you were happy, I always wanted t be happy with you. I wanted to share in your joy, and make your joy mine. I wanted you, I wanted to share your life, your emotions, your heart. I wanted to be a part of you. Do you know how many sleepless nights you caused me? I lay on the futon, sleep eluding my grasp. Thoughts of you swamped my overloaded mind, the mere thought of you sending me into hysterics. I would replay all the matches, studying your moves, and the hidden significance behind them. All your moves have a hidden meaning. Nothing about you is straightforward, nothing reveals its true value at first glance. Your plays, they mask their value with a subtle wit, the stones dancing about the board with ease. You weave such a complicated tapestry, one that sometimes even I cannot break. That is when I long for more of you. The aura of mystery that lingers around you, the one that shrouds your real identity. I want you, Hikaru. We are destined to be more than foes. I want to be your friend. No. I want to be more than that. Not merely a friend. WHAT am I thinking?!?! Hikaru, it's all your fault! You caused these irrational feelings to overwhelm and swallow me up. You ./  
  
Akira's face heated up, his cheeks burning form the thought. He awoke from his reverie with a guilty start. Shindo's eyes were now trained on his face, a predatory glint in those captivating eyes. The corners of Shindo's mouth were turned up slightly, a wicked smile gracing those full lips. Akira paused, wondering about the sudden change in expression./ Hikaru. why are you smiling like that? This isn't the Hikaru I know. You've changed so much. I wonder what-/  
  
"Ahhhh! Shindo!" Akira yelped out in surprise. Akira was stunned, his mind in a whirr.. Shindo pushed over the goban, spilling the stones on the floor. He wrapped his strong arms around Akira's waist, pulling Akira closer to him. Akira lay limp in Hikaru's hands, relishing the feeling of Hikaru's body so close to his. /How did he know?! Was I that obvious? I always fantasized about this, always wanted Hikaru to do this to me. But. how did he know? Did I .Was the smile a trap?.Did I fall for it?.Hikaru!/ Warmth flooded through Akira's body as Hikaru pressed his lips to Akira's mouth. Akira melted, putty in Hikaru's arms. He relaxed, giving Hikaru's probing tongue entry.  
  
Hikaru felt Akira become literally soft in hands. /So I was right all along. Akira does feel this way about me, just like I feel about him. The smile was just a test. A little unfair, perhaps, but I needed to know for sure. Now I understand. Now I see he light. Now I have Touya Akira./ Hikaru trembled at the thought, his hot tongue pushing deeper into Akira's mouth. Hikaru's tongue flicked teasingly into the sensitive crevices, his hands gently caressing Akira's back. /Akira tastes like. I can't place it. He feels like trust. He feels like excitement, and determination. You are so strong, yet so beautiful. You are the force that pulled me to you. Those deep emerald eyes, like magnets, dragged me into your world, forced me to pursue you, to abandon all for you. Do you even comprehend your influence over me? I saw you rising through the ranks, upwards, out of my reach. Yet, I felt your eyes on me all the while, studying me, waiting for me to catch up one day. I am here now. I fought to be your equal. Now I am. I am more than a foe. More than a friend. Now I am more than that. Akira. I loved you the day I met you. I just didn't realise it until now. I always assumed that feeling that percolated me whenever I met you was the feeling between rivals. It wasn't. It was the longing that I felt for you. Now I understand. Sai.You chased after Sai. You wanted to reach Sai, to know who he was. Sai was a part of me. I am telling you now. Sai. Sai, where are you? Akira, you will never know Sai. You only know me, but I carry Sai's shadow in me. Sai shows himself in my playing. I am not him, but I want to let him live through that. It is my repentance, my retribution. Are you content with that? Is it really me that you love?/  
  
Akira felt his lungs bursting. He ignored the feeling, pressing himself closer to Hikaru. He could feel Hikaru's tongue entwining itself around his, tickling him. Akira gave a low moan and shuddered violently. He felt Hikaru smile against his skin.  
  
Both boys pulled away at the same time, a unanimous decision. Akira clutched the front of shirt, gasping for breath. Shindo sprawled on the ground, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. Akira licked his lips, tasting Hikaru's essence. Hikaru glanced up to look at Akira, a wide smile playing across his lips. His olive eyes danced merrily as he saw the other boy meet his gaze and blush hurriedly. Hikaru leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Akira's cheek, cupping Akira's fingers in his hands. Akira smiled back, lightly cuffing the back of his head. They were lying on the floor, surrounded by the upturned pots of stones. The black and white stones were scattered over the mat, shimmering in the dancing light. Light flooded the room, the molten liquid that seeped into all niches and washed everything in a resplendent gold. Akira gazed across to Hikaru, noting how the light emphasized his eyes and made them light green, with flecks of gold. Akira reached forward, brushing the yellow bangs away form his face. "Shindo, you are beautiful. And. thank you. I love you. I'll love you forever." Akira's emerald eyes flashed. Hikaru felt himself shudder with pleasure. Both boys were aware of the silence that followed, each gazing into the depths of the other's eyes. Time ground to a standstill, it revolved solely round them. It lifted them higher, to the clouds, to where no one could reach them. The screen door was pulled softly shut. Akira froze, and was sent plummeting down from his dream. He turned his head slightly to face the door. It was closed, just as his father left it. Then perhaps, a mere figment of his imagination? He faced Shindo, seeing a look of dumb incomprehension mirrored in the other boy's features. The door had closed. Which meant that it had to be open first.  
  
Akira pushed the thought from his mind and concentrated on Hikaru. He voice was even and calm. Just like Akira. Always in control, unflappable and controlled. "Shindo. Did the door just close?" Hikaru gulped nervously and nodded. The expression on Akira's face was unreadable, a blank mask. Fear surged through Hikaru. " Touya, are you angry? I... I just-mumph!" Hikaru stopped thinking as he lips were smothered beneath Akira's forceful advancement. Hikaru stopped thinking just then. Everything would be alright. He just knew it.  
  
TBC. 


	2. Ogatasensei, are you alright?

Disclaimer: Hikaru No Go and its characters belong to Hotta Yumi-sensei and Obata Takeshi-sensei so no telling me that this is not how the story goes. Author's notes: Thank you everyone who reviewed! You have no idea how gratified I am to receive those treasured reviews! I am not dramatising this, honest! Thank you again for being so nice! (I didn't expect any reviews at all) By theway, I have no idea how this fic turned out so strange. The characters went out of control halfway ^.^ Well, my this is my third try at a Hikago fic so please review! (And please don't ask how Ogata got dragged into this) Doesn't matter if the reviews aren't good, please review! Thank you!  
By the way, does anyone know how to format spacing between lines in ff.net format? Sorry I couldn't change the spacing for this, I don't know how to. Please tell me so I can change the next one! Thank you!  
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*Waiting For You*  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Ogata shut the door, with a barely audible click, a sly smile stealing across his handsome features. He shut his eyes, raking a hand through his platinum blonde hair. His eyebrows arched in sadness, a stark contrast to the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. /Touya. Touya Akira. How could you? How could you do this to me?! How could you fall for Shindo? Ahh.I can't blame you for that. For I. I love Shindo too. As much as I love you. I want you both to be with me, to soothe this pain in my aching heart. This pain rips me apart, driving a stake through my heart. It cuts me to see you two together, to see both of you lost in each other, to see myself alienated from all this. I will admit it. It is pure lust, wanton untamed lust, a raging feeling that pours in torrents over me, drowning me in its bitterness. For I want both of you. Badly. It seems that each second I live is for the both of you only. Those chance meetings, do you really think they were a coincidence? They precisely planned, each second timed to coincide with you.. Those fleeting glances, light smiles, I lived in those seconds. I lived for those moments. Now the both of you have left without me, speeding forward without waiting for me to catch up. You have progressed so fast, leaving no time to tell both of you of my apin, my sorrow, the feelings that I harbour deep in my soul. They are suppressed, locked up in the remotest corner, concealed behind a façade. I am too late.. I just wish./  
  
Kuwabara hesitated before the corner, mid step, his internal alarms going off, bleating out an urgent warning It was seldom that anything happened to trigger such a reaction in his mind. His brain was focused, sieving out all that was of little importance, concentrating on those that truly mattered. This was a situation of astronomical proportions. His instincts were legendary, honed to perfection, sensitively attuned to his surroundings. His instincts were never wrong, yet this matter stop out in his mind, demanding immediate attention, urging him to settle it without further ado. It was so. persistent. It's intensity increased with each passing second, growing till it peaked at a dangerous climax. Kuwabara could sense grief, bitterness, and even.. joy, fear.  
  
Kuwabara frowned, his face crinkling. This was a really odd mixture of emotions. A potentially dangerous combination. It was a ticking bomb, lying dormant, set to explode. His brow furrowed with the effort of concentration. /If I focus all my energy on this feeling, it takes on a shape, a form in my mind. This one. this one is new. I have never seen it before. This mix of emotions is strange, tingling and stimulating like strychnine. It is pungent, sharp, toxic, like an exotic cocktail. I see it as a deep hue of amethyst, liquid, shifting alarmingly from one form to another. It does not stay still, it is constantly morphing, and at times, concealed by a silver cloud. It is as if someone is trying to hide these feelings, smothering them under, disguising their true nature. Someone is trying to hide them. From whom?/  
  
Kuwabara shook his head lightly, his socked feet padding across the ground. He deftly strode across the corner, coming face to face with Ogata 10 dan. Kuwabara's senses worked overdrive, recording the intensity of feeling radiating from the younger man. / He seems disturbed. Perhaps I may even venture to add, slightly desperate. Yet I sense wanting, anger, bitterness, loss, hurt. In Ogata?! This is impossible. But my senses do not deceive. Ogata's true nature... I cannot profess to know much about that. But Ogata? Is it really possible? Is it that term that is nagging at me?/Kuwabara studied the younger man, whose head was lowered, soft hair shielding his face. Ogata's clenched fist rested on the screen door, the other arm hanging limp by his side. His lanky frame was bent, head bowed in defeat. Ogata's fine features were emotionless, a calm mask, but Kuwabara sensed the inner turmoil boiling over within. His lips were contorted into a faint smile, tinged with pain and bitterness.  
Kuwabara stepped forward, giving a slight cough. His eyes bored into Ogata's, questioning. He waited patiently, holding his gaze, until Ogata's eyes met his. Ogata gave an involuntary start, his fingers trembling. Ogata hurriedly ran his fingers over his clothes, smoothening out the wrinkles, and setting his hair into place. He almost glared at the old man, stopping when he saw understanding in the other's eyes./Kuwabara! What is he doing here? This is Touya Meijin's house. it is not one of his frequent haunts! He is looking at me in this manner, those small eyes, showing a kind of understanding, and compassion. Kuwabara! You are my enemy! You have no right to appear in front of me, startling me, seeing me when my defenses are down, when I am vulnerable and weak!/ Ogata stood up straight, his body rigid. He clenched both his fists, holding them till the knuckles were a bone white. His grey eyes were pinned solely on Kuwabara's, defiance radiating from his tense body. "Kuwabara." Ogata's tone was icy, yet trembling beneath the calm front. Kuwabara merely nodded as an acknowledgement, waving in a vague direction to the closed door.  
Ogata's heartbeat quickened, as panic raced through him. /Does Kuwabara know? Does he guess? My deepest secret, my most zealously guarded feelings, has he broke through my lines of defense, and caught a glimpse of my true feelings? I..He cannot know! What is happening to me?!/ Ogata's face twisted in a mask of pain, raging feelings sweeping across his face. His face contorted in bitterness, his mouth clamped shut in anger. He bit his lip savagely, tasting the sweet copper taste flooding his mouth. It was so sharp, so sweet, yet so bitter. Blood welled on his lip, and he forced himself to lick it away. The force of the taste sent him reeling, savouring the blood in his mouth. /My blood, it tastes so sweet! I feel giddy, drunk on its taste. This is the first time I can taste my blood, running it over my tongue, feeling its warmth trickle into my mouth. Bitterness is also mingled within the suffocating sweetness, leaving the sharp taste on my tongue. Is love like this? Sweet, intoxicating, yet so painful? Does it cut so? Blood seems to soothe my heart, letting me get drunk on its taste. This is my punishment, my retribution. I lost Shindo. I lost Touya. Now I lust for them, alone from them. It is but a door that separates us, divides us. Yet this door seems to span a thousand kilometres, an impenetrable fortress separating me from them. I do not have the strength to move it, to change anything now. It is too late./ Ogata involuntarily shook his head, a few pearls of blood staining the floor.  
  
They fell, each perfect droplet hitting the ground, reduced to scarlet ribbings on the ground.  
  
Akira pulled Hikaru onto an embrace, his arms wrapped round Hikaru's slim waist. His tongue hungrily traced the contour of Hikaru's lips, searching for entry, searching for fulfillment. Hikaru's protests were cut short, smothered by the suffocating weight of Akira's kiss. This Akira was forceful, almost to the point of brutal, pouncing on the unwary Hikaru. Akira swept through Hikaru, fiery tongue hot and slick. Hikaru lay passive, overwhelmed, helpless against Akira's advancement, caught offguard to be buoyed along the waters of Akira's passion. Akira was a whirlwind, devouring Hikaru whole, sparing Hikaru nothing. Akira was savage, ravaging Hikaru's mouth, claiming the sweet haven as his own. He gave the other boy to chance to retaliate, pushing forward with a tiger-like ferocity. Hikaru's green eyes widened with shock, his mind racing to process the turmoil of feelings rushing through him. / Touya?!/ Hikaru arched backwards from the pleasure, hands clenched tightly as he fought the urge. Akira pushed forward, devouring Hikaru with no mercy, subjecting the other to his raging passions. Hikaru lay submissive, making no attempt to stop the other boy. It was all he could do to stop screaming. The kiss was hot and passionate, relentless and reckless. Hikaru was swept up in the intensity of it, washed along by its power. It happened so swiftly, so quickly. When Hikaru regained his senses, he was crouched on the floor panting, clutching to Akira's shirt for support. Akira took in the flushed face of Hikaru, cheeks dusted a slight crimson. The emerald eyes were closed, swollen lips parted. Hikaru's breathing was irregular, his face bobbing slightly with each breath. Akira gently cupped Hikaru's face, stroking the red cheeks. Hikaru felt the fingers brushing across his cheek, warmth rising fast in him. He turned to toy with Akira's hair, running his fingers through the soft stands. The light blazed in through the blinds, horizontal strips illuminating the adjacent wall. The goban lay bare, its face cleared of stones. It glimmered on the light, its pale wood reflecting golden.It stood alone, surrounded by the sea of shale stones the only thing left upright amidst the chaos. The stones were scattered across the room, lying beside the overturned pots. Akira smiled and started to gather them up, slim fingers placing each stone back to its container. Hikaru chuckled softly, then began sweeping the stones together, getting up to gather them from the other side of the room. Hikaru walked past the screen door, hearing voices on the other side. He froze, straining to catch the words being said. /The person who opened the door. He is still here? But he is talking. There were two people?! They saw us together.. Ahh! Touya!/ He spun round to face his rival, whose ears were plastered to the screen door. He caught Touya's eye and nodded, giving silent consent to the questioning eyes.   
  
Slim fingers pulled open the screen door. Touya signaled to Hikaru, and their breaths tensed. Hikaru caught hold of Touya's hand, holding onto it as they steeled themselves. Touya pressed closer to Hikaru, till their bodies met. Then they stepped out.   
  
"Ogata-sensei!" Both Akira and Hikaru cried out unanimously, surprise written on their faces. Hikaru felt the tension growing in the air, thickening till it was almost palpable. He saw Ogata facing Kuwabara, pain and anger plainly showing. Kuwabara was smiling, as if enjoying a private joke. Hikaru took in the sight of both men, fear racing though him./ What happened? Ogata is angry, yet Kuwabara is smiling. Why the stark contrast? Did they see us, or is this something else?/ Hikaru turned to look at Ogata's face, then gave a small cry when he saw the rivulet of blood trickling down. "Ogata-sensei!! What happened?" Hikaru searched frantically around for his handkerchief, cursing silently as he fumbled through his pockets. /I don't have it. Where did I put my handkerchief? Ahh! Sensei! You have to stop the bleeding at once!/  
  
Beside him, Hikaru saw Akira rummaging through his pockets, spilling the contents out in his hurry. Akira's emerald eyes were clouded with worry, his brow furrowed. Akira turned up to look at Hikaru. "You look after Ogata- sensei. I'll try to find out what happened from Kuwabara-sensei." Hikaru nodded in a daze, his mind preoccupied with looking for a handkerchief. He saw Akira chasing after the retreating footsteps of Kuwabara, then turned his attention back to Ogata. Ogata was wearing a pained look, his eyes unfocused and staring into space. /Ahh!! Sensei! Are you alright?!/  
  
Hikaru panicked, his mind racing frantically. In a final fit of desperation, he tore the material off the sleeve of his white turtleneck, gently dabbing Ogata's lip. Ogata awoke from his daze, eyes focusing on Hikaru. The boy was so preoccupied with stopping the bleeding, that he didn't notice the blush spreading across Ogata's face. Ogata was rooted to the spot, stunned, as the boy he lusted for stood there stroking his lip. Hikaru kept his attention on Ogata's lip, brushing the wound to stop the flow of the blood. Ogata was still in a swoon, suddenly awakened when he saw Hikaru staring into his eyes. Ogata blushed even deeper, warmth spreading over his face. "Sensei, are you alright?" Hikaru's voice was tinged with worry. Ogata stopped thinking, mind trying to formulate a coherent response. /How am I supposed t think when you are here? Argh! You are looking at me like that, so innocent, so trusting. You care about me../   
  
"Shindo! Shindo!" Hikaru turned round, hearing his name being shouted out. He turned to face Akira, whose eyes were dancing. "Shindo! I asked Kuwabara- sensei and he told me! Ogata-sensei, are you alright?" Ogata nodded mutely, watching as the two boys looked at each other. "Ogata-sensei? How are you? Why were you bleeding? Are you really alright?" Ogata shuddered as Akira raised an elegant hand to place it on his forehead gently pressing on him. The slight pressure made his knees weak, losing their strength under the slight pressure of Akira's hand.   
  
Ogata smiled, and passed out, crumpling into a heap on the floor.   
  
TBC.. ^.^ Please R/R! 


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